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Understanding Dialogue Acronyms in Retrouvaille and Marriage Encounter

When participating in Retrouvaille or Marriage Encounter dialogue questions, you'll encounter acronyms that guide how to express your feelings. These acronyms are crucial tools for deeper emotional connection with your spouse.

Basic Feelings

  • DTF Describe This Feeling
  • DFILD Describe Feelings In Loving Detail
  • HDIF How Do I Feel?
  • HDTF How Does This Feel?

Sharing Feelings

  • HDIFST How Do I Feel Sharing This?
  • HDIFSTWY How Do I Feel Sharing This With You?
  • HDIFTTTY How Do I Feel Telling This To You?

Reflective Feelings

  • HDIFA How Do I Feel About...
  • HDIFAT How Do I Feel About That?
  • HDIFAMA How Do I Feel About My Answer?
  • WAMF What Are My Feelings?
  • WAMFA What Are My Feelings About...
  • WAMFAT What Are My Feelings About That?
  • WAMFAMA What Are My Feelings About My Answer?

The Heart of Dialogue Writing

Understanding how to use these acronyms effectively is crucial for meaningful dialogue. While each dialogue question may seem simple, it's designed to open the door to deeper emotional expression.

Important Guidelines for Your Letters:

  • ✦ The dialogue question typically requires only a brief, 1-2 line direct answer
  • ✦ The majority of your letter should focus on exploring and expressing the feelings that arise from your answer
  • ✦ Use the acronym as your guide to delve deeper into your emotional experience
  • ✦ Don't hesitate to share complex or seemingly contradictory feelings - this depth creates opportunities for genuine connection

How To Use These Acronyms

Key Points to Remember

  • The acronym guides what kind of feelings to write about
  • Answer the main question briefly, then focus on feelings
  • Don't explain or justify - describe feelings
  • Focus on current feelings, not past ones

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Writing about the topic instead of your feelings
  • Explaining or justifying your answer
  • Telling stories or giving background
  • Missing the specific type of feeling requested

Examples of Using The Acronyms

Used when you need to describe a specific feeling in the present moment. Focus on the emotional experience itself.

Question: "When you hold my hand, DTF?"

Brief Answer: "I feel warmth spreading through my chest"

Focus: Describe the physical and emotional sensation you're experiencing right now.

Invites a more detailed, loving expression of your feelings. Take time to explore and express the nuances of your emotional experience.

Question: "What do you feel when we pray together? DFILD?"

Brief Answer: "I feel a deep, peaceful connection"

Focus: Describe the depth and quality of your feelings with care and attention to detail.

Reflects on your feelings about the answer you just gave. This is a meta-emotional response - how do you feel about what you just shared?

Question: "What's your biggest fear in our relationship? HDIFAMA?"

Brief Answer: "I feel vulnerable but relieved having shared this fear"

Focus: Express your feelings about having revealed this fear, not about the fear itself.

Focuses on your immediate emotional reaction to a situation or topic. Stay in the present moment with your feelings.

Question: "I just apologized for last night's argument. HDTF?"

Brief Answer: "It feels like a weight lifting off my shoulders"

Focus: Describe your immediate emotional reaction to receiving the apology.

The most basic feeling question. Simply express your current emotional state about the topic at hand.

Question: "We're starting this weekend's program. HDIF?"

Brief Answer: "I feel nervous but hopeful"

Focus: Express your current feelings about the situation, no explanation needed.

Directs you to explore your feelings about a specific aspect or topic. Be specific about the feelings related to that particular thing.

Question: "HDIFA our new commitment to daily prayer?"

Brief Answer: "I feel encouraged and committed"

Focus: Express feelings specifically about this new commitment, not prayer in general.

Asks for your emotional response to something specific that was just mentioned. Focus on your reaction to that particular item or statement.

Question: "I want us to start counseling together. HDIFAT?"

Brief Answer: "I feel both scared and relieved"

Focus: Express your feelings about this specific suggestion, not about counseling in general.

Focuses on your feelings about the act of sharing, not the content itself. Explore your emotions about being vulnerable and open.

Question: "What's your biggest regret in our marriage? HDIFST?"

Brief Answer: "I feel exposed but trusting"

Focus: Express feelings about the act of sharing this regret, not about the regret itself.

Specifically about your feelings of sharing with your spouse. Focus on the relationship aspect of sharing these feelings.

Question: "What's your deepest hope for our marriage? HDIFSTWY?"

Brief Answer: "I feel deeply connected and understood"

Focus: Express feelings about sharing this hope with your spouse specifically.

Similar to HDIFSTWY, but emphasizes the act of telling rather than sharing. Focus on your feelings about actively communicating this to your spouse.

Question: "What's something you've never told me before? HDIFTTTY?"

Brief Answer: "I feel brave and closer to you"

Focus: Express feelings about the act of telling this new information to your spouse.

An open invitation to explore all your feelings about a topic. You can list multiple feelings and explore their interconnections.

Question: "We're celebrating our anniversary today. WAMF?"

Brief Answer: "I feel grateful, joyful, and deeply blessed"

Focus: List and explore multiple feelings about this celebration.

Directs you to explore multiple feelings about a specific topic. Similar to HDIFA but invites a broader range of emotional responses.

Question: "WAMFA our decision to attend Retrouvaille?"

Brief Answer: "I feel hopeful, anxious, and determined"

Focus: List multiple feelings specifically about this decision.

Asks you to explore multiple feelings about something specific that was just mentioned. Similar to HDIFAT but encourages listing multiple feelings.

Question: "I want to renew our vows next year. WAMFAT?"

Brief Answer: "I feel excited, touched, and a bit overwhelmed"

Focus: List multiple feelings about this specific suggestion.

Invites you to explore multiple feelings about the answer you just gave. Similar to HDIFAMA but encourages a broader range of emotional responses.

Question: "What's your biggest dream for us? WAMFAMA?"

Brief Answer: "I feel vulnerable, hopeful, and deeply invested"

Focus: List multiple feelings about having shared your dream.